Messays

2020 April – Week 18

Week Eighteen brought us the announcement from Governor Cuomo that schools will be closed for the remainder of the year. I am okay with this. Of course, OF COURSE, I miss my students and think online teaching kind of sucks (Did I say kind of??). But the ELA teachers and I have a plan. As Dr. Erion put it: We’ve figured out how to land the plane. We don’t need them moving the airport on us. So, eight more weeks of “remote learning” to tire out my eyes and cause me headaches (I ordered some blue screen glasses I’m hoping will help with that). But at least now we know for sure. Living in uncertainty was certainly worse.


Sunday

4/26/2020

Look! Sammy and I are Zooming with David Levithan (kinda not really).

The virtual YALLfest was a nice break in the monotony life has become. It made me feel like I had actual plans for the weekend… And I was inspired by the authors. I want to be one, too. I’m starting to realize I love writing just as much as I love teaching. Which feels like a terribly taboo thing to say — and truthfully, it’s a terribly terrifying thing to admit — because I LOVE what I do and being a teacher is thoroughly tied to my understanding of who I am as a person. But, it turns out, I can not be so singularly defined.

Anywho… it was fun to see the authors in their own spaces. Sometimes I think we idolize people and forget that they’re still people. Disheveled Davide Levithan in his messy home office (I’m assuming) with that curious painting of a man (I think) on a diving board (perhaps) in a red speedo (almost definitely) made me smile. As did Nicola and David Yoon in separate rooms of the same home — her on a couch and him in what looked like the most comfortable chair in the entire universe.


Monday

4/27/2020

One positive thing about working at home is that my midmorning breakfast snack can be more than a banana or coconut milk yogurt. I made this vegan acai smoothie bowl and it was decidedly decent.


Tuesday

4/28/2020

I don’t know what type of tree this is, but they’re all over Utica and I love them.


Wednesday

4/29/2020

Willow doesn’t understand that Savasana is supposed to be a meditative pose.


Thursday

4/30/2020

While waiting for a student to join my Google Meet, I did a little messing around on Google Maps. And LOW AND BEHOLD! When I entered Street View of my parents’ house, I SAW MY TREE!

I’ve been looking for pictures of it ever since it fell. I guess Google hasn’t updated their Graves Road pics in a few years (also: the address is wrong… which is why I’m cool with posting it). It was like stepping back in time. The picture makes it appear far skinnier than it was, but it was such an unexpected pleasant surprise to happen upon it. It’s like getting to see the world how some star out there sees it, since certain stars are a couple light years away. The star gets to think my beautiful tree still stands.


Friday

5/1/2020

I’m not sure an explanation is necessary. This is Sam being Sam.


Saturday

5/2/2020

Quite a few of these trees line the parkway near our street. They remind me of my grandma. My grandparents on my mom’s side used to have a huge magnolia tree in their front yard that my brother and I would climb into and hang from. And when it bloomed, climbing it made me feel like a princess — my throne a branch, the flowers my prize for simply being me.

I spoke with my grandma for about an hour a few days ago as I walked the path through Master Gardens. It made me long for the visits of the past, when I would carve out a few hours of my day and pop over. Not too frequently, but occasionally. She’d serve grapes and water and listen to my stories. Sometimes I’d listen to hers, too, and that was always nice, but mostly she wanted to hear about what was going on in my life. After awhile, I’d hug and kiss her goodbye, and she’d stand at the window or door waiting to wave as I drove away. Always waiting to wave. I miss those days.

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