The world is on fire. Fevers and riots. That’s what Week Twenty-Two had in store across the United States. I have whiplash from all the things vying for my attention with the intensity in which they are requiring it.
Racial injustices are at the forefront of everyone’s minds (or should be). Protests, rallies, riots, calls to action and pleas for change… I want to do more. But it’s all happening against the backdrop of the COVID crisis, which means masks on at these protests.
COVID continues to affect our lives in large and minute ways. Things are still shut down, events have gone from postponed to canceled. Grocery stores have limited supplies. State and school budgets are looking bleak.
And then there’s the Trump of it all. Incompetent is putting it unbelievably kindly. There is no moral or ethical leader at the helm. And it feels a little like he’s marching us straight into hell with teargas and bullets pointed right at us.
But of course, we also have to live our lives. I can’t stop teaching. I can’t stop paying bills or feeding my cats or monitoring my disease. I can’t stop checking in on my grandma or working on my personal goals. I can’t stop going forward with the plan for my now officially ex-boyfriend to move out.
And so the day looks a little like this:
- Wake up. Check news. Get pissed. Share something on social media to assuage guilt.
- Shake it off. Work out. Shower (most days). Eat breakfast. Check news. Get pissed. Donate to a nonprofit fighting for social justice to do something.
- Teach children… or attempt to via Google Meets. Ride the roller coaster of smiles, annoyance, connection, detachment…
- Take a break. Shove food in face. Check news. Get pissed. Call a senator to demand justice even though it might not do anything.
- Sit through faculty meets. Ache for the days when your role as teacher was not so consumed with bullshit.
- Go for a walk. Feel the breeze. Listen to birds. Take deep breaths.
- Feed cats. Have heavy discussions with your ex-significant other. Make dinner. Do household chores. Check news. Get pissed. Order books from indie stores to support during these uncertain times.
- Escape into a book or Netflix. Check news. Get pissed. Share something on social media to assuage more guilt.
- Try to sleep with your mind, body, and soul still in fight or flight mode.
Sunday
I try to make friends with all walks of life.
Monday
A DeLorean! Spotted on the way home from my parents’ house.
Tuesday
Though nothing else in my world feels clear or uncomplicated, the sky was a perfect blue.
Wednesday
Mother Nature is taking over. I am okay with this.
Thursday
My cat is very, very bad.
Friday
This is the troublemaker, but he’s seen here being a sophisticated cat sitting at the table with me.
Saturday
I attended BookConline today. That was nice. Then I tried to relax with a little solitaire. Willow said, “No. It’s time to hold me.”