Hello, Week Forty-Two. We’re closing in on Election Day, and I’ve been trying to do something — anything — to feel like I’m helping to get both the vote and the orange Rump OUT. I donated some money so I could watch the West Wing cast play a hilariously disastrous trivia game, and I “adopted” ten Ohio voters from neighborhoods with notoriously low turnout through Vote Forward. I sent them some hand written letters telling them why I vote. I also signed up to make some phone calls and made a plan to vote early with a friend. Because Week 44 will come. It has to. And when it does, I want to feel like I did all that I could do.
Sunday
Sometimes an uneventful Sunday is exactly what you need to feel at peace with the changing times.
Monday
Since we had Monday off, I was able to spend the day making visits. First, I went to Brian’s to see Willow and trim her nails for him. She was curled up on a blanket on his computer chair. In classic Willow fashion, she hardly blinked an eye when I lifted the entire blanket into my arms and set it — and her — on my lap. It was nice to snuggle with her, as always, but it was also sad, as it always is now. Because eventually you get up and leave, and the entire time you’re there, you know you’ll be leaving. It makes you painfully aware of what has been lost. But I’ve said all this before, so I suppose the real question is: Why do I keep doing this to myself? To us?
My second visit was to Michelle. It’s been more than a few years since I ventured over there and it’s been twelve years since she died. It feels longer. It feels like a lifetime ago. That whole era of my life feels like it belongs to someone else — a different me, I suppose. And when I stepped back to the look at the dried hydrangea I’d left her, the site looked a little lonely to me.
I saw on social media later that others had visited and left much prettier displays of flowers and it made me a little happy to know she didn’t have to spend the day alone.
Tuesday
This little jerk still hisses at me, despite the fact that we — and now I — have been feeding him for over three years. But look how adorable he is.
Wednesday
This is not my cat. But this is the inside of my car. The highlight of an otherwise stressful visit to the vet.
In other news, my coworker and I did a run-through of our scripted debate on a Google Meet. The whole point of the thing was to get kids thinking about how they think.
I had the idea last year pre-COVID. One of the social studies teachers always jokes that we should have a podcast: He could be the privileged, white guy, and I could be the girl who constantly says, “Weeelll, let’s consider this perspective…” He’s pretty conservative — though not a Trump fan — and I’m very much the opposite. One day we were having a discussion about the electoral college, and the next, we were discussing gender bias. He said he didn’t think it was as big of “a thing” as every one makes it out to be. White men, amiright??
I suggested we have a debate about the electoral college, but script it — make it very even, with no clear winner. I said we should have the debate in front of a class and have them vote. Then we should switch sides in front of the next class and have them vote. I believe he’d win every time. Not just because he’s a man, but because he’s the social studies teacher — an authority on the subject. And we don’t share the same students, so there would be a natural inclination to vote for the person the students are already familiar with. I thought it would be fascinating and a great conduit for discussing our own biases and ways of thinking with the students.
Then COVID happened. We all went home and the idea got shelved.
I pulled it back off the shelf after the abysmal display of “discourse” in the first presidential debate a few weeks ago. My coworker agreed to go forward with our idea if I wrote the script.
So I did. Electoral College vs. Popular Vote. And boy was that hard — I was essentially arguing with myself! My favorite line is when the pro-popular vote cites research, and the pro-electoral college person responds, “Yeah, I saw that research, too.”
I tried very hard to make it even. I even made sure each person said the exact same amount of words.
When it came time to do the run-through, though, my coworker wasn’t open to the idea of making two recordings; he wasn’t open to the idea of switching sides at all. The convo went something like this:
Me: Do you want to record two versions of this like we planned? Or just one where we take opposite sides and reveal that at the end?
Him: I’m not taking the popular vote side.
Me: But—
Him: Nah, Azzarito. I’ll take the Electoral College.
Me: Um… okay… well, do you feel it’s even? I did my best to—
Him: Honestly, I only read the Electoral College arguments.
Me: …
Thursday
We had evening conferences with parents and families, so most of the 74-degree day (in October??) was eaten up by that (couldn’t the beautiful weather have been on any other day of the week??), but I was able to take some time during the break after the kids went home on their half day to go for a walk around the golf course. I’m loving the prolonged autumn colors we’re getting this year.
Friday
My Sammy kii is sick. And that’s not okay. According to the vet, he has kidney disease and his blood and urine levels are very concerning. It’s a good thing I took him to the vet for my suspicions that he has an infected tooth because they did a complete work up on him that led to these discoveries. He’s eating, drinking, pooping, and playing — which is to say, he’s asymptomatic. Which hopefully means we’ve caught it early. 2020 can not take him, too. I simply won’t permit it.
Oh, this is him impatiently waiting for me to get out of the shower. When he thinks I’m taking too long, he hops from the toilet to the sink and sits at the edge and creeps at me. How could I possibly live without him?? (I am not being sarcastic; he’s my companion. I always want him by my side. I don’t care if he’s a little creepy.)
Saturday
Sometimes I am my mother’s daughter. That’s gluten-free bread with onion jam, baby arugula, strawberry slices, feta (because I don’t count feta as dairy), and balsamic glaze.