This week has been one hell of a roller coaster, and I’m so spent that all I can say is this:
Week 45 is the week we’ve said BYE, FELICIA to #45.
Sunday
New month starting on the first day of a new week as a new NaNoWriMo begins! I met my writing goal for the day and got to meet some of the other NaNowers in the area via Zoom. Most of the rest of the day was me trying to re-establish healthy habits that have gone by the wayside during the last few stressful weeks of school. In this picture, I am attempting to use the foam roller on some muscles I worked, but, as usual, Sammy thinks it’s better if I just sit still and pet him.
Monday
It snowed. This shouldn’t be surprising because it’s November, but it caught me off guard. And, I don’t know… maybe it’s because we just had daylight savings, but the darkness feels like it’s closing in. I’m a little nervous about the coming months. I have this sense that the winter months will be dark and cold and lonely (I mean, I guess they’re always dark and cold, but I mean that both literally and figuratively). But at least “falling back” has made the sun come up a little earlier…
Tuesday
Election Day. Could concentrate on very little else, but I forced myself to take a workout break. I made my way over to Nick and Ashley’s garage and discovered an old friend at the house. Simon sometimes stays with them when he’s passing through. Haven’t seen him in the flesh in about a year, so it was nice to be able to catch up with him a little. I was successfully distracted from the election for about ten minutes while we chatted.
And then…
The RED MIRAGE! Ugh.
The news had warned us that the election wouldn’t be called in one night. We’d been told it was going to take time to count mail-in ballots and certify results. But… I don’t know. I guess I was just hoping that the voters would deliver such a decisive blow to tRump that there’d be no question. I wanted a blue fucking wave — a goddamn referendum stating clearly: WE DON’T WANT YOU ANYMORE! And most of us never did.
At the middle school, our social studies teachers had students fill out electoral map predictions (the student who comes the closest wins a prize). I filled one out in the Google Classroom as well.
When one of the social studies teachers said, “Azzarito — you can’t make your entire map blue!” I responded: “But doesn’t that show I have faith in humanity?”
My faith was seriously tested Tuesday night, though. Mail-in ballots were predominately used by those voting democratic, and in-person votes the day of heavily favored tRump. Understanding what the Red Mirage was ahead of time — understanding that it would likely look like tRump was winning at first — did not make it any easier to live through.
Tuesday was a dark night.
Wednesday
At least Sammy got enough sleep. I didn’t because I couldn’t stop watching the damn news.
Every state did not immediately turn blue on the electoral map. It’s not like I expected it to… but I’d hoped.
Because I simply don’t understand a tRump vote. I can’t fathom looking back at the last four years and thinking, “Yes! Four more, please!” Election night had me downtrodden in the extreme. My dad thinks I’m crazy for tuning into it so closely — he thinks that caused undue stress. He’s probably right. Me obsessing over every moment was not going to change the results. But the results matter so much. I couldn’t bury my head in the sand and hope that when I pulled it out the sun would be shining.
The fourth is Steven’s birthday, so I messaged him, wishing him good birthday mojo that would swing the results in our favor.
And that birthday mojo did the trick.
Thursday
I saw online that Steve Kornacki has been dubbed a “chart throb.” Accurate. I love watching the little dork calculate and decipher numbers for us. Especially since the numbers started to look up as the days went on.
Sam doesn’t think I should pay attention to Steve Kornacki.
Neither do the tRumpers. They’re convinced there’s widespread voter fraud — that there’s some well-orchestrated democratic conspiracy to use COVID and mail-in ballots as a way to “steal” the election. Which is baseless bullshit. All over social media, the right wing supporters can sense their preferred reality slipping and hypocrisy is winning the day.
Which means that when all of this is over, we might be able to breathe a sigh of relief for a day or two, but it will be difficult to celebrate, knowing so many are so thoroughly lost in his mindset — lost in hatred and fear and bigotry and ignorance… the list goes on. And it paints a terrifying picture.
Friday
Remember how I said it snowed? Well, now it’s like 70 degrees and sunny. And I’m not complaining about being able to go for a run in a tee shirt or take walks in the sunshine. But damn. Seventy degrees in November? This feels like apocalyptic weather. Especially since this week feels like hell. An author I follow on Twitter wrote: “You’re telling me it’s NOT November 82nd??”
For realz.
Apparently cats don’t give two shits about what’s going on with anything anywhere, as long as you pay attention to them.
Saturday
OH HAPPY DAY! People dancing in the streets in the cities… People outside enjoying the freakishly warm weather… People smiling from ear to ear at perfect strangers. A GLORIOUS DAY! Ding dong the witch is dead!
He’ll come back from the grave, no doubt, but at least on this day, we defeated him. Excuse me while I go DANCE!
What’s funny is the way I found out because I’d been overly focused on the news — obsessively checking for updates ever since the morning of Election Day (before many polls even opened). I finally shut the news off for a bit at 11:00 and jumped on a writer’s Zoom, encouraging myself to set aside the time for writing and community and NOT for worrying about the election. Twenty minutes later my phone blows up with messages, and the first one was from a friend on the other side of the world. My Dutch roommate from my Moroccan adventure, Jantien, messaged me the second she got the update from CNN: “CONGRATULATIONS!”
The whole world was watching. Now it can watch us celebrate.
Oh, btw, this is my friend Kath who I write with and go for walks with. And we are STOKED. The first female and woman of color to hold the office of the Vice Presidency! Boom!
What a great way to end the week.