I don’t feel like Week 46 was real. Hmm… maybe that’s not accurate. It’s more like it didn’t exist. I can’t believe it was a whole seven days. I also can’t believe it wasn’t a whole seven years. NaNoWriMo has me nice and distracted, though…
Sunday
Aung: “This year suck. I never get to see you.”
Since we had some freakishly nice weather and the election news gave me a renewed sense of optimism, I asked Aung if he wanted to go for a walk. When he said yes, I didn’t realize his girlfriend would be joining us. Which I totally wouldn’t mind if she talked to me. But despite my efforts to include her, she trailed behind us quietly, occasionally speaking to Aung in Burmese. Aung explained that she was pissed at him but never explained why and I know better than to ask.
Monday
I was jogging up the hill and suddenly there was a glowing orange something on the horizon. The sun was catching the tree just so and it reminded me of that poem “Oranges” by Gary Soto, which we read with our seventh graders this year. It made me stop running. In part because I’m out of shape and was happy for an excuse to stop, but in part because it was such an unexpected sight that filled me with belief. Belief in what, I’m not quite sure. I suppose belief that there’s something better on the horizon. Something better to come.
Tuesday
Sam doesn’t like this picture at all. But Tyson has been pining for my attention for days. I’d be happy to let him in the house sometimes but Sam would have a fucking fit and pee all over everything after inflicting many, many wounds on both Tyson and me.
Wednesday
Okay, Sunday mornings. I see you.
Wait. This was Wednesday morning. But it was Veteran’s Day so we had it off and I did absolutely nothing for school. I refused. I read my new book and wrote and cuddled and watched Dash & Lily on Netflix and didn’t allow myself to think about the mound of shit waiting for me the next day.
Thursday
I’ve been very unhealthy this week. I got fast food. But the view on the way home was almost worth feeling like crap about the cheat. Because the sky was full of birds. You can’t see them clearly in this picture, but all the little black specks that give this photo an old-timey feel are birds having themselves a wild ruckus.
Friday
The second Friday the Thirteenth in the year 2020 had me feeling like there was an ominous mist in the air. But really, it was pretty much a regular Friday. Except I had to meet with school admin about my potential return to in-person teaching, which, after we were notified the previous night of yet another COVID case in our school, I’m very hesitant to do. I wasn’t super thrilled with the way I felt after — like I was being a baby for not being back already.
I don’t know… I feel so disconnected from what I love about teaching. I don’t feel much like a teacher anymore.
In fact, I feel more like a writer these days. Except, not a successful one.
Saturday
Sam says he takes back what the he said about the mail carrier.
He also said I can go back to watching my YALLwrite author panels after I open some of these bad boys up.