Life started to feel like… life? again. I returned to the school building, was able to spend some much needed time with Amanda, and I ventured into the world a little, hitting up TJ Maxx for a single needed item and walking away with seven shirts and a sugar holder I have no use for. Normalcy.
Sunday
I’m winding down on this draft of my manuscript and starting to look forward to what might come next. I’ve been kicking around a few ideas… But in the meantime, I’ve put the story in the hands of some Betas; now I wait for feedback. I’m hoping it will be ready to re-query by the end of spring. I’m to the point where I search for overused words. Turns out just is my biggest crutch. And apparently I like the word blanched— which is kind of a stupid word to like. Oh. And the em dash. This girl loves her em dash.
Monday
Unfortunately, yoga is still at home. I miss bumbling some of the poses next to others who are doing the same. The shared laughter in a yoga studio when everyone’s struggling with an impossible position is one of my favorite kinds. The plus side of being in the comfort of your own home is that you can chill in child’s pose for a few vinyasa flows and no one can judge you for it because no one can see you.
Tuesday
Tuesday was the day I got to meet my students in person for the first time this year. They’re hot little messes and I love them! Working with them reminded me why I love teaching so much.
There’s something very beautiful about the way this generation lets each other simply be. The flip side is that there’s pretty much zero peer accountability for class behavior, BUT I’m jealous of the way they give one another the space to be themselves. Their acceptance of the people around them gives me hope.
Wednesday
Started to do a little spring cleaning… My mom keeps buying me this onion jam. About once a week a jar appears in a bag for me. It’s really good, but I already have an open one in the fridge. How fast does she think I’ll go through these??
As I went about my spring cleaning, I noticed that it’s been kind of a while since I’ve cleaned certain things in my house. And that’s a good thing. In fact, it’s a very good thing. I used to do what I called a “deep cleaning” on Fridays or Saturdays. I would spend hours cleaning out the fridge, washing the floors, wiping down the cupboards, vacuuming the couch… The house would maintain this level of cleanliness for the weekend, then start to accumulate mess again on Monday and Tuesday when I was back at work.
I can make a mess with the best of them, but Brian is downright slovenly. I would come home to find dishes in the sink, multiple coffee mugs sitting in the living room and his studio, coffee grounds everywhere, a plastic bag near the base of the garbage because the bin was full and he couldn’t be bothered with replacing the bag… The couch pillows would be out of place, the curtains pulled closed incorrectly, laundry on the floor…
I would pick up on Monday and Tuesday when I got home from work, but by Wednesday, I’d give up. I didn’t have it in me anymore to put forth the effort because it was almost impossible for me to pick up a few things without diving headfirst into a cleaning saga. If I cleaned one spot on the counter, my eyes would see another… and another and another and another. And suddenly three hours passed. I couldn’t pick up a coffee mug from the living room and not pick up the rest. So I’d leave it. And I’d add my mess to the mix. And by Friday, the place was a pigsty.
Now that I live alone, that horrible cycle has been broken. What hasn’t been broken are the walls of OCD still up around me. But I’m working on that. I’m chipping away at them. As I start to spring clean, I try to do so with intention. I try not to give over to the list of to-dos that lengthens before my eyes. That’s Theo’s list (Theo is what I call my OCD brain). What’s on my list?
Thursday
Speaking of OCD… How do you know Ben Daley came to eat lunch with me?
Friday
Puxter (Dexter) had a scare this week. My brother says he’s not out of the woods yet, but I was super relieved when he sent me this picture because at least he’s home now and they’re together again.
Saturday
Also together again: Tiff and Fishes. Yay for COVID vaccines and friendships that can withstand separation.