It really feels like I’m on the cusp of something… in more ways than one. And that’s a good feeling.
Sunday
I’ve been really focused on my manuscript lately. My self-imposed goal of being ready to re-query in June is fast-approaching. But I’m almost there! I can’t believe how much the pages have changed, and yet the spirit of the original story doesn’t just remain, it shines through more. A part of me lives in the those words, those sentences, those scenes. Forever.
No matter what happens with it, that will always be true, and I thank Indigo from the bottom of my heart for letting me see her and for letting me be seen.
In case you’re curious, all of what I just said has absolutely nothing to do with the frog pictured above. He’s just chillin’ and I like him.
Monday
My vine tubers are on the cusp of something, too, LOL. They’re so funny looking. They look like a bunch of flowering saxophones from the side, and that brings me joy every time I struggle to get my door to open (the lock is temperamental).
Tuesday
The almost complete manuscript revision isn’t the only thing giving me a sense of, well, forthcomingness.
TIME OUT. I just learned forthcomingness is an actual word. I thought I was zhuzhing up the word with an suffix, but according to Merriam-Webster, I’m not as creative as I think:
The quality or state of being forthcoming
Merriam-Webster
Hmm. That definition doesn’t suit my usage. Hang on…
The state of being imminent and liable to happen soon
The Free Dictionary
Sweet. That’s better.
Okay. Time in…
This feeling of being on the verge of something could have a mundane, ordinary explanation. After all, we’re about to enter the final month of the school year and summer is almost here. But I think it’s more than that.
Wednesday
Summer will bring with it my father-daughter road trip (which had me stocking up on more books). A seventeen-day adventure that will hopefully bring me up close to some orcas off the coast of Seattle, but will also help me give my dad an experience he’s had to wait too long for. Orcas aren’t his end-goal— that part of the trip is for me. But he wants to travel, to experience a road trip, to see Mount Rushmore, Deadwood, and Yellowstone…
And with his recent prostate cancer diagnosis and the giant question mark that constantly looms over my health, I don’t want to wait. I want to get out there.
Thursday
One of the things I recently talked to my therapist about was this feeling of anxiousness to get out there and live. With the pandemic, my health issues, the repeated blows the past year and a half has landed to my life and the lives of those I care about… Well, I am feeling a sense of urgency like never before.
Friday
And that sense of urgency has me creating road trip plans and playlists, finishing my manuscript, jotting down notes and thoughts for a new one (OMG I have another idea for a book!), sending my resume to principals in schools in Harlem, and upping my game in my fight against Theo.
Oh, you’re probably wondering who Theo is.
Theo is the name I gave my OCD. He’s a real sneaky bastard. Manipulative AF. But I’m a competitive person, and I don’t like to lose.
Saturday
Buuuut I also don’t always love working out. Like. It’s hard. And often I just look forward to leaving funny doodles for Nick and Ashley to find on the whiteboard in their garage.